Why divorce rates spike in the fall

Divorce is one of the most significant changes a family can experience, and deciding when to move forward with that process and informing your children about your decision is never easy. 

While there’s no “ideal” time to file for divorce, studies show that the most common times are late summer and into the fall. 

Here are some key reasons parents often choose this time of the year to take the first steps in the process, along with suggestions for how to support your kids through the transition.

Why do parents pick late summer or early fall to take the first steps in the divorce process?

Summer is over

The end of summer can be a natural turning point. Families have wrapped up vacations and planned family trips, which can provide temporary unwinding and connection. Parents often wait to give their kids “one last summer” of stability before moving forward with filing for divorce.

Fall routines bring added stress

The start of a school year means a more intensive schedule for everyone. Kids are facing a new grade and sometimes even a new school. At the same time parents are helping their children navigate these changes, they’re also balancing their own obligations, which may include tuition payments, buying school supplies and clothing, childcare, and transportation. These added pressures can magnify existing conflicts.

They want to avoid the holidays

Many couples prefer not to move forward with separating or divorcing in November or December, when holidays often dominate family life. Taking the first steps in late summer or early fall can provide a cushion of time to get started before the busy holiday season begins.

How to talk with your children about divorce once you’ve decided to move forward

While choosing the right timing to start the separation or divorce process can help minimize disruption, how you share the news with your kids matters just as much. Every child is different, so it’s essential to think about the personality, age and emotional needs of each child as well as the dynamics between you and your spouse. 

Here are some steps that can help make the conversation easier for your child:

1. Be deliberate about when you inform your kids. Don’t rush to tell your children before you’ve thought about a plan for next steps and, if possible, a shared narrative you and your spouse can convey to them. For example, if you haven’t started the divorce process and plan to maintain the status quo with both parents continuing to live in the same home, depending on your child’s age and whether you and your spouse can remain civil in the home, you may want to delay informing the children until you have a more definite plan.  
2. Present a united front. If possible, both parents should be present for the conversation to reinforce stability and love. Try to align upfront on a shared narrative to convey to the children, and commit to honesty and clarity while maintaining boundaries about the details of your relationship.
3. Choose a quiet time. Allow several uninterrupted hours without school, work, homework, sports or other obligations that might distract you or your children from the moment. This gives your kids time to ask questions and emotionally process the news.
4. Be prepared with resources. Your kids will need to process in their own time and in their own way. This may require more than one conversation and may be challenging for them to discuss directly with you or your spouse. Have information on hand about counseling, support groups or trusted adults they can talk to. If your kids or family already have a counselor, consider scheduling a session with them to facilitate the conversation or be available immediately after sharing the news.
5. Allow space for questions. Let your kids know that it’s OK to have questions or concerns during the conversation and in the future. Keep communication open so they feel comfortable coming back to you and your spouse. 
6. Offer age-appropriate agency. Not having a choice in their parents’ decision to divorce can be destabilizing and frightening for kids. Giving them agency over small choices, including whether they want to talk with you about the divorce, can help them regain a sense of control. 

When in doubt, you can obtain input from an attorney or professional who is skilled with families going through divorce. 

When it’s time to initiate the divorce process

While there’s never a “perfect” time to start the divorce process, many families choose the fall because it aligns with school transitions and can provide a sense of beginnings and a fresh start. 

If you’ve decided to move forward with separation or divorce, working with an experienced family lawyer can help protect your rights and plan for a better tomorrow through future-focused solutions tailored to your family’s long-term needs. Contact our DC, MD and VA divorce attorneys for more information or to schedule a no-obligation consultation.