How to choose the right divorce attorney in Washington DC and Northern Virginia
Choosing a divorce attorney is one of the most important decisions you’ll make. Your divorce lawyer will help you make well-informed decisions that affect your finances, your family, your future and your peace of mind.
The right divorce attorney can help you protect your interests, reduce unnecessary conflict and help you move forward. But choose the wrong attorney? It can make the process more stressful, more expensive and more drawn out than it needs to be.
After practicing family law in Washington, D.C., and Northern Virginia for a decade, I’ve had many conversations with people at the start of this process. Whether or not they end up working with me, I always suggest looking for these five things when selecting a divorce attorney.
1. Look for a personality fit: A comfortable attorney-client relationship
Divorce is deeply personal. You’ll be sharing private information — your finances, parenting concerns, fears, frustrations, priorities. If you don’t feel comfortable with your divorce attorney, this process becomes harder. That’s why it’s crucial to choose a divorce attorney you feel comfortable with.
When you meet with a prospective attorney, pay attention to how you feel in that first conversation. Do they listen more than they talk? Do you feel judged, rushed or dismissed — or supported and understood? These early signals often carry through the relationship.
A good divorce attorney will listen to your concerns, respect your goals and offer compassionate guidance. The divorce process can be emotionally charged, so having a good fit with your lawyer can make the process easier and more efficient.
2. Choose someone with relevant experience and expertise
Every divorce is different. Some are uncontested. Others involve complex finances or child custody disputes. While no two cases are alike, ask your attorney for some examples of cases they’ve handled that seem similar to yours and ask how those ultimately ended.
Were the parties able to work out a resolution outside of Court? Did they ultimately need to resort to the Court?
While every case has nuanced issues and concerns, family law cases, in my experience, tend to follow certain patterns. So understanding what patterns your attorney has seen similar to your situation — and what tends to work best in those situations — can help you better prepare.
3. Prioritize knowledge of local procedures and courts
Divorce laws in D.C. differ from those in Virginia — and within Virginia, each locality has its own distinctions. For example, I’ve seen firsthand the pitfalls of hiring an attorney who’s never practiced in Fairfax. Fairfax has specific forms a practitioner must file with motions and deadlines that don’t apply elsewhere. Some counties in Virginia are willing to grant a pendente lite custody hearing (essentially a temporary hearing) before trial; others won’t.
Choosing an attorney who regularly practices in your specific jurisdiction can make the divorce process go smoother, faster and more predictable.
4. Ask about their professional network
Divorce often involves more than just legal advice. A good divorce attorney has access to a network of trusted professionals — financial advisors, accountants, mental health experts, and other attorneys, like tax attorneys or estate planning attorneys. These professionals can assist with important aspects of your case, including asset division, alimony, or child custody, or they can provide emotional support during a difficult time.
For example, you may want to equalize a number of retirement accounts in a way where you ultimately divide one retirement account versus multiple accounts. In this instance, it can be helpful if your attorney has relationships with local accountants who can analyze the tax differences between various Roth and non-Roth retirement accounts to ensure the equalization is fair and doesn’t provide a windfall to the other side. Or if your child is struggling with the divorce and needs emotional support through the process, it’s helpful if your attorney knows mental health professionals in your community who have experience with divorce to help them through this difficult family transition.
5. Make sure your communication styles are aligned
Good communication is vital during the divorce process. Whether you’re in D.C. or Northern Virginia — or anywhere for that matter — your family law attorney should be responsive to your questions and provide clear explanations of the legal process. I usually try to respond to client emails the same day, but no later than 24 to 48 hours later, even if that response just lets my clients know when to expect a more substantive response. You’ll want an attorney who keeps you updated regularly and makes themselves available for update calls to address your concerns and strategize next steps. My style is to collaborate with my clients — they know their spouse and situation better than I ever will. I like running ideas by my clients to get their take on how they think that will play out, so we can adjust accordingly.
When you meet with a potential divorce lawyer, make sure to ask about their communication style and availability during your initial consultation.
Choosing the right divorce attorney in D.C. and Northern Virginia
I know choosing a divorce attorney can feel like one more overwhelming decision at a time when you’re already carrying a lot. But the right family lawyer can make the process more manageable — and more likely to lead to a fair, forward-looking outcome.
If you’re exploring your options in D.C., Arlington, Alexandria or Fairfax, I’d be happy to connect and answer your questions — even if you’re not sure you’re ready to move forward.
Emily C. Baker is a family law attorney and partner at Tucker PLLC. For more information, contact Emily at ebaker@tuckerfamilylaw.com or schedule a consultation.
